Christgau on Robert Crumb's Book of Genesis Illustrated. Religion is like football to me: I have almost no comprehension of how it works. I wasn't raised religiously at all. I accompanied my great-grandaunts Loretta and Arlene to church a handful of times because they always went on Sundays, out of sheer curiosity, which turned to boredom quickly. My sisters and I were all baptized Catholic, a holdover from my mom's early schooling. But that's it: I never attended Sunday school (as my sisters did for a while), never read the Bible, and never had any kind of training in it. I saw Catholicism as something you turned on or off as you saw fit for pretty much my entire growing up, which led to uncomprehending and absolutely wonderful behavior on my part toward kids at school who were immersed in it from birth: I'd make fun of them for not swearing or liking dirty jokes or whatever other inappropriate things I was up to at the time. I though all those floods and resurrections sounded like Hollywood bullshit.
I used to sell hologram bolo ties at the Mall of America